Hypnotic Coffee Shop Pose

Why does this always happen?...

I don't do this often, because I've learned from past experience, but I'll get the idea to go to a favorite coffee shop to "brainstorm" some new tile designs. I go, this time to Java's Cafe next to the Eastman School of Music here in Rochester, New York, all psyched up for a productive "art journal" session.

It starts with ordering a double (or triple) shot cap, latte, or mocha. Oh, and gotta have that scone. I then decide on where I want to sit... I have my choice because I prefer the slow times for access to the best seating -- Oooooo, that comfy worn-in couch by the mosaic tile table, or that cushy chair-and-a-half by the fireplace. I have a seat, settle my large cup and saucer and the scone plate, take a sip of my caffeine charged beverage, and sit back with journal and pencil feeling super excited about the great inner journey I'm here to embark on.

I sit there thinking before I start to write, massaging my mind with all of the creative art and decor around me, sure the environs soaking will soon begin to pay off. I set down the pen and pad to reach for the beverage again, hold the thick warm ceramic between my hands, and begin to daydream about the creative processes of other artisans.

Then my phone rings... and of course I have to check my email... then I get a bug to surf the net researching a thought... Oh, I know, I'll take some photos of the surrounding art. I mean, I'd love to have a new screen saver and these would have meaning... then of course I have to eat the scone, which is an effort in itself because of all the crumbling going on, then I feel like a slob. Then I decide to finish up my beverage too because I consider them too distracting, but I don't want to finish too quickly... savoring is best, especially because these two items cost me ten bucks. Thirty minutes later, I'm done, and tweaked on caffeine, and I begin pondering the surrounding art and music in earnest, asking the barista who the artists are and what group is playing, and thinking about how long I've been there and not accomplished anything...

I then pick up the pen and journal and begin to write or draw, but it seems my hand can't keep up with my brain, and I'm hyper-critical of everything I've put down... too sloppy or way in the wrong direction.

Then the self consciousness sets in, more people have arrived, do I look like an artist... who cares, only I care, why do I care... OMG, I'm a POSER!

I'm then motivated to abandon my brainstorming session for fear of looking like a poser... then I start to feel like I'm wasting time and that there's just too much to do for me to be sitting here like this...

And so, I leave, remembering the reason why it's futile for me to go to the coffee shop to work. It never seems to happen. These sessions are becoming few and far between, because I am slowly, but surely, learning.

Best save the time and money for partaking with my wife or friends, to socialize and laugh a little, for that is the true spark...